Something I like about fitness is that it’s simultaneously one of the most important things in the world for you and also the most useless thing to the world. Like, it’s good for your body to be active and to exercise. Too much body fat will shorten your life, and putting on muscle properly has lots of health benefits.

But also: No. One. Cares. I spend probably way too much time working out in the gym and planning out my nutrition, and sure maybe people who’ve known me a long time might comment, “Hey you’re looking good.” But even then — the only one who cares about my fitness journey, ultimately, is me.

This massive delta between “Profoundly Important for Me” and “No One Cares” — and the fact that it takes lots of time and energy to really optimize my health and fitness — forces me to confront myself in a present and existential way. “No one but me in this. Very little real external validation. Do I love myself and believe in myself enough to care about my health and life?” You understand what I’m saying?

The other “Big Thing” in my life is union organizing. Now, field organizing does a lot of good in the world. But it’s something (particularly in a professional context) that, despite all my efforts to turn it deeply selfish, still requires a lot of “give.” No matter how you slice it, field organizing is a massive sacrifice. Field organizing will eat up your life.

I like that these two major pursuits of my life balance each other out like that. My experience is that, in balance, they propel each other up, allowing me to pursue both paths evermore: they are synergistic.

I don’t have a point to this post, but idk just processing feelings.